持書十誡

很喜歡《嗜書癮君子》中的「持書十誡」，一口氣把中英文抄錄，留個紀念。

持書十誡 (p. 235)

1) 欲入此門各眾當誠惶誠恐，切勿褻瀆藏書聖地，必除鞋於入口處方得進入；

2) 一切書寫工具必須於入口自動繳出；

3) 取拿書籍之前，汝當以入口陳設之玫瑰水盆潔淨雙手；

4) 潔淨雙手之後，汝當著戴橡膠手套乙副，亦於入口索取；

5) 不可抓取書脊抽出書架。自然，該書必以雙手捧之護之──如對待明代瓷器；

6) 不可直接朝書本呼氣、吐息、打噴嚏、咳嗽、流口水、啐痰更在禁絕之列；

7) 若於任何一本書的書角折頁，甚至只是動念，將立遭逐退，逕拖往車庫以狗頭鍘伺候；

8) 翻頁時，須持用置於每張書桌兩翼之專用翻頁刀；

9) 若以濕手沾染書頁，立處絞刑，並當場執行；

10) 若有翻折書背事情發生，須即刻稟報書房主人，肇事現行犯將遭折斷背骨處置。

The Book Handler's Ten Commandments (pp. 172–173)

ALL VISITORS shall show respect for the holy ground of this library by removing their shoes immediately upon entrance.

ALL PENS and other writing utensils shall be checked at the door.

BEFORE HANDLING a book, thou shalt cleanse thy hands in the bowl of rosewater provided at the door.

AFTER CLEANSING thy hands, thou shalt don a pair of the little plastic gloves, also provided at the door.

THOU SHALT NOT GRAB a book by the top of the spine when removing it from the shelf. Rather, said book shall be handled as one handles a Ming Dynasty vase ---- with both hands.

THOU SHALT NOT BREATHE, spit, sneeze, cough, drool, or discharge sputum of any type in the direction of a book.

ALL WHO MARK a page by turning down a corner in any of these books, or even think about doing so, shall immediately be escorted to the guillotine in the garage.

ALL WHO WISH to turn pages in a book must use the specially made paper knives provided at the end of each stack.

ALL WHO WET their finger to turn a page shall die a quick and immediate death by strangling.

YE WHO CREASE a spine shall immediately report to the owner of this library, who shall crease thy skull.

也只有真正的嗜書癮君子，才會寫出這樣的十誡來！