搭小巴 How to take a minibus

排隊時先瞅準空位，上車後側身「嘟」一聲，再盡量爭取「一步到位」迅速坐下，實在不行就抓著椅背摸到後排——沒有跌跤。這時候就可以微笑。

於異鄉人，識搭小巴幾乎算得上成就。要識路，要識講廣東話，肢體也得熟悉本地語言。快狠準。平靚正。叫停有不成文的規矩。若是明明還有一個紅綠燈，就急急喊出「海栢花園有落，唔該司機」——這樣不經濟的長句子，一聽就不是熟客，不用理會。唯有喊上二至三遍，全車人轉頭看你，司機中的好心人，才不耐煩地抬抬手。若是穩穩坐在前排單人位的老先生，眼看就要過了站，這才悠悠揚揚地唱一聲「海栢」，拖長了的「海」字在搖晃疾行的車廂裡像波浪起伏。司機踏著「栢」的尾音猛一剎車，小巴就斜倚在站牌前。

偶爾遇到快樂的司機，或說今天黃昏那樣的好天氣，不管什麼樣的叫停，司機隨時把手高高一揚，再往空裡一抓，就像小孩子伸手去抓糖果，或過年時隨時幻滅的煙花。逢人落車，「慢慢啊慢慢」，竟也來回往復地說了好幾遍，「慢慢」。

「唔該曬」。

2019.1.15

How to take a minibus

Target an empty seat while waiting in a line. Tap your octopus card the moment you squeeze in. Strive to sit down in one move. If you can’t make it, grab the back of the seat, sway yourself to the back row – a narrow escape from a fall. So far so good, and now you can smile.

For strangers, it’s almost an achievement to master all the skills of taking a minibus. First you need to find the bus stop, some tiny spot on the Google map you’ll struggle to reach. Then you need to know the route, as the minibus will skip stops without any reminder. Additionally, you need to speak the local language, Cantonese of course, and finally, your body language matters. Fast, firm, to the point!

Simply to ask for a stop there are unwritten rules. If you hurriedly say, ‘Hoi Pak Fat Yuen (Hoi Pak Garden) please, thank you, driver’, while there’s still a traffic light between you and your destination, it will give you away. No frequent visitor will use such an uneconomical sentence, and your polite asking is most likely to be ignored. Not until you cry it out for a second or a third time, will you see the driver waving impatiently as a gesture of benevolence. The exemplary asking is usually made by an elderly person occupying the precious single seat just behind the bus driver. He opens his mouth only when he almost misses the stop, singing ‘Hoiiiiii Pak’ melodiously, with the prolonged ‘Hoiiiii’ (literally ‘sea’) like a wave rising and falling in the shaking cabin. The driver brakes abruptly at the last syllable of ‘Pak’, while the bus stopped right before the route sign.

Good-tempered drivers are few and far between. Still, now and then you may meet one in a mood, at a breezy dusk. No matter when you ask for a stop, no matter how limited your Cantonese is, the driver will raise his hand high, like a child trying to catch sweets in the air, or the vanishing fireworks during the Spring Festival. When someone gets off, ‘Take your time, no need to hurry’, the driver keeps saying over and over again. ‘Take your tiiiiime.’

‘Thank you soooooo much.’

Translated on April 10th 2020

Notes:

The minibus is the most down-to-earth part of the complex public transportation system in Hong Kong, frequently used by local people, and probably local people only. It earns the nickname ‘Van-ette’ for its size, with no more than 20 seats; and a fancier name, ‘life-killing minibus’ for its incredible speed and an urban legend about its underworld backgrounds. The bus drivers, although far more from friendly and even kind of unapproachable for strangers, can become quite talkative and patient when he meets frequent visitors(typically the elderly, housewives, blue-collar workers and foreign domestic helpers). Heated discussion between passengers is also common, especially when it comes to social issues.

Tourists would prioritise an MTR (underground train) for its convenience, choose a double-decker bus for its good view, or sometimes try a tram for its cultural fame. But to take a minibus is obviously out of a traveller’s strength, as he has to overcome all the difficulties listed above, with the intention of immersing himself in the local context. It’s not easy to take the first step, but once you do, nothing will ever compare. ;)