恩宠

要怎样简述我对当下女性视角和理论的最直观感受？或许和用某种固定的理论框架解释文学做文学批评是一样的【1】：打拳的话术太容易掌握了。我说的并不是只关乎利益或权力/利的直白口号，恰恰是看似高深有一定说服力的思维体操，是用智识的语言表达包裹过分简化的立场和态度。我不是任何集体或身份主义的信徒，也秉持不把我的观点凌驾于他人（所谓的夹带私货），但我用这样一套话术，竟然就能帮学生“打拳”打进哈佛本科。而真实的奋斗和困境又如此艰难，和现实的复杂是不符的。活生生的苦难，竟沦为特权精英载歌载舞进名校的装点——此为打拳容易的一种例证。

我不在此批判美国高校的“先进”，也绝不讨论任何个体学生。美国顶尖高校左倾世是既成事实，大部分学生不知道如何左得不雷人（cringe）。事情的讽刺好似，犬儒（cynic），叛教者（apostate），无神论或者（至少是）不可知论者手把手教见习基督徒如何写下《忏悔录》博得字面意义上的上帝恩宠。一些人确实比另一些人信得更真诚，然而是表达，而非虔诚影响了最终呈现和接纳。简单说，就是说得好听和信得真切之间的张力，而谁是上帝做仲裁者？又是以什么资格和身份裁判？

这冥冥之中和纳博科夫所描述的苏维埃样板文学作品中“叛徒总是能说会道巧舌如簧”不谋而合，甚至还包括了某种伪宗教性的戏仿【2】。所以这样的文学作品，也算是修正不公的诗性正义(poetic justice)，要修正源自仅有表象暗含不公。

侧一个角度说，这种失调在世界巨大的角角落落里也是一种集体记忆：人如果早一点精明，知道曾经某些课上的话，不用信，甚至不用懂，不说日后的实际好处，至少学起来也没这么费劲了。不是没有信仰，机会主义，而是对自己好一点。

【1】But mostly I was disturbed by the politicization of literature in the West: the way that literature was read as social commentary rather than art, and the way that books were forced to serve political theories of one stripe or another. Very rarely did a critic seem to react to a text; rather the text was twisted so that it reacted neatly to whatever ideas the critic held sacred. There were Marxist critics, Feminist critics, and Post-Colonial critics; and almost invariably they wielded their theories like molds, forcing books inside and squeezing out a neatly-shaped product. Marxists turned out Marxism; Feminists turned out Feminism; Post-Colonialists turned out Post-Colonialism. It was like reading the same senseless book over and over again.
——Hessler, River Town

2】We find out what we had perhaps suspected—that the man who was wrecking the factory is not the ugly little old workman with a trick of mispronouncing Marxist definitions, bless his little well-meaning soul, but the slick, easygoing fellow well versed in Marxian lore; and his dark secret is that his stepmother's cousin was the nephew of a capitalist... Apart from this structural resemblance to the tritest kind of crime thriller, we must note here the "pseudo-religious" side. The little old workman who proves to be the better man is a kind of obscene parody of the poor-in-wits but strong in spirit and faith, inheriting the Kingdom of Heaven, while the brilliant pharisee goes to the other place.
——Vladimir Nabokov, Russian Writers, Censors, and Readers

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